Although one doesn’t need to have an orgasm to have great sex, if you ask women, “What is most likely to prevent you from having an orgasm?,” one of the most common responses would be, “my partner doesn’t last long enough.” It is the catch-22 of sexual relations.

In conventional sex, women tend to narrow their mental and physical focus to help them achieve an orgasm. Men tend to have a quicker pace than women in bed, reaching orgasm within seven to 14 minutes and 10 to 20 minutes, respectively. In comparison, in tantric sex, couples are encouraged to stay present with each other and focus on the journey rather than having an end goal, which helps them go at a slower pace. This is what helps sex last longer than the average 7.3 minutes.

I find that most man who experience difficulties with premature ejaculation, for example, actually possess a tremendous degree of sensitivity in their ability to feel pleasurable sensations.

The problem lies in their fear of coming too soon and so they often try to remedy this by resisting “feeling too good”, but the more a man tries to hold back, the more frustrating and defeating it becomes. Therefore premature ejaculation turns into a downward spiral, the more you try to control it, the less you are able to enjoy the pleasure.

With women wanting men to last longer, and most men agreeing that longer lasting sex results in more intense orgasms, most couples resort to strategies that try to figure out a way men can delay their orgasms, for example start-stop methods, delay sprays, delay pills, squeeze techniques etc.

Arguably the most effective strategy, however, is simply slowing down. Even without tantric practices, slowing way down during erotic play can have this effect, and tantra adds the power of breath and intense partner sharing.

For women, delaying the orgasm also enhances the intensity of it. Slowing down during sex is not only advantageous for women, though. It holds a lot of promise for men who suffer from premature ejaculation.

Tightening the pubococcygeus (PC) muscles during sex keeps a man’s arousal in check, taking him back from the brink of orgasm and allowing the sexual experience to continue. In fact, creating waves of near-orgasmic bliss leads to a more powerful orgasm for him and perhaps even multiple orgasms for the woman.

Tantra can lead women to experience fuller orgasms through the tantric sexual ceremony known as the “Yoni Massage” — “yoni” being the Sanskrit word for vagina and “sacred space.” During this vaginal massage, women may experience female ejaculation known as “Amrita” in Sanskrit.

The purpose is to release negative emotions by clearing the pelvic basin and making sexual organs open and positive. Receivers will experience body shaking, shivering, and spasms, known as “Kundalini Awakening,” to remove negative energies in the body while experiencing full body orgasmic waves that could last for 20 to 60 minutes, or longer.